My plane was delayed on the tarmac in Palm Beach the other day, so I decided to pass the time by flipping through the In Flight shopping catalogue, Sky Mall.
Now, for all of you who have flown anywhere in the world, you would know that most in flight catalogues are full of the standard duty free items such as fragrances, makeup and alcohol. But not in America. This catalogue was full of the most fabulous, ludicrous and extraordinary things you could possibly imagine! Americans are renowned for being the most voracious consumers on this planet and now I can understand why. Here were things I never knew I needed! A computer mouse in the shape of your favorite racing car, a dog genealogy kit, a Nano-UV disinfection scanner to rid your house of e-coli and dust mites, floor mats to encourage leg circulation, temperature regulating sheets, shower heads that you can travel with, a pop-up photo studio and a pet ramp-cum-staircase.
I have become obsessed with the late night TV infomercials since living here, but this catalogue is now my new best friend. Here are some of my favorite offerings:
An ottoman that easily folds into a bed.
No more hauling a bulky inflatable mattress out of the basement. This handy piece of furniture can rest your legs in the living room during the day and your house guests at night. Comes in four fashionable microsuede colors with a comfy polyfoam mattress.
Faux Ivy Trellis.
This 6 foot long faux trellis may help bring out the Romeo in your Stan. No growing time needed. He can zip up that trellis to your bedroom the same day you install it.
"The Zombie of Montclaire Moors" Statue.
Want to scare your neighbors? Why not install this zombie in your front yard. Apparently his finish is so realistic, "You'll swear you'll hear him groaning"!
iRestore Hair Laser
Do you wish you looked like this man? Now you can, with the world's first hands-free home use laser hair therapy. Use it when watching the footy, checking emails or even brushing your teeth. It comes with an adjustable laser dome for full scalp coverage and will ensure you never look like the bald headed eagle again.
Why bother traveling with a neck pillow when you can face plant onto a wedge shaped pillow! Sitting snugly on your tray table when inflated, it folds into an easy to pack size when defalted.
Hidden Litter Box
For those of you with cats, throw out that ugly litter tray and install a faux terracotta pot that houses a concealed litter box. Complete with artificial decorator plant.
Really, those budding inventors have been having a field day. Offering shopping like you've never seen before, the range of choices is extraordinary. Apparently this in flight catalogue has a cult following. Now wonder. I'm now a convert. I implore you to discover the endless treasures inside Sky Mall. It's worth getting delayed just to have the time to browse and have a laugh.
Images: courtesy of sky mall.