Mile High Shopping

My plane was delayed on the tarmac in Palm Beach the other day, so I decided to pass the time by flipping through the In Flight shopping catalogue, Sky Mall.

Now, for all of you who have flown anywhere in the world, you would know that most in flight catalogues are full of the standard duty free items such as fragrances, makeup and alcohol. But not in America. This catalogue was full of the most fabulous, ludicrous and extraordinary things you could possibly imagine! Americans are renowned for being the most voracious consumers on this planet and now I can understand why. Here were things I never knew I needed!  A computer mouse in the shape of your favorite racing car, a dog genealogy kit, a Nano-UV disinfection scanner to rid your house of e-coli and dust mites, floor mats to encourage leg circulation, temperature regulating sheets, shower heads that you can travel with, a pop-up photo studio and a pet ramp-cum-staircase.

I have become obsessed with the late night TV infomercials since living here, but this catalogue is now my new best friend. Here are some of my favorite offerings:

An ottoman that easily folds into a bed. 

No more hauling a bulky inflatable mattress out of the basement. This handy piece of furniture can rest your legs in the living room during the day and your house guests at night. Comes in four fashionable microsuede colors with a comfy polyfoam mattress.

Faux Ivy Trellis.

This 6 foot long faux trellis may help bring out the Romeo in your Stan. No growing time needed. He can zip up that trellis to your bedroom the same day you install it.

"The Zombie of Montclaire Moors" Statue.

Want to scare your neighbors? Why not install this zombie in your front yard. Apparently his finish is so realistic, "You'll swear you'll hear him groaning"!

iRestore Hair Laser

Do you wish you looked like this man? Now you can, with the world's first hands-free home use laser hair therapy. Use it when watching the footy, checking emails or even brushing your teeth. It comes with an adjustable laser dome for full scalp coverage and will ensure you never look like the bald headed eagle again.

SkyRest

Why bother traveling with a neck pillow when you can face plant onto a wedge shaped pillow! Sitting snugly on your tray table when inflated, it folds into an easy to pack size when defalted.

Hidden Litter Box

For those of you with cats, throw out that ugly litter tray and install a faux terracotta pot that houses a concealed litter box. Complete with artificial decorator plant.

Really, those budding inventors have been having a field day. Offering shopping like you've never seen before, the range of choices is extraordinary. Apparently this in flight catalogue has a cult following. Now wonder. I'm now a convert. I implore you to discover the endless treasures inside Sky Mall. It's worth getting delayed just to have the time to browse and have a laugh.

Images: courtesy of sky mall.

Traveling

PB Here I come!

OK. I am so excited. I never travel in the US and this weekend, I am going to Palm Beach! I am going to live the Slim Aarons lifestyle and dream for 4 days, staying here,

watching some of the best polo in the world,

shopping the famous Worth Avenue strip,

having a history lesson about America's gilded age at the terribly elaborate Flagler museum

recovering from the gilt overkill amongst the calm greenery of the Cluett Memorial Garden,

having a sundowner at the fabulous Breakers Hotel,

eating Americana at the notoriously-difficlt-to-get-into Palm Beach Grill,

fossicking through the 60's treasures along Antique Row,

visiting Palm Beach's oldest house house, Sea Gull Cottage,

then comparing to the insanely huge modern compounds,

and feeling nostalgic for the real Palm Beach glamour of the 50's and 60's, 

before hopefully skipping along these golden sands at sunset.

Phew! I'm exhausted already and I haven't even worked out my wardrobe!

images in order of appearance: current vintage; william waldron, elle decor; guardian, travel pod, miami unlike, the cr online, the breakers, real recommendations, new york mag, flickr,  michael emilio, vogue, destination 360

NYFW

Fashion Week has started here, showcasing next fall, which frankly, makes much more sense than seeing the spring fashion in stores at the moment. It is still so cold that the snow hasn't melted yet from all the snowstorms, so all the streets are lined with disgusting greyish ice and the dreaded "black ice". Apparently there are still Christmas trees and December rubbish hidden under these snowy piles. ughhh!

Anyway, onto all things fashion - of course. The buzz here at the moment is surrounding the French Vogue 'scandale'.  For the first time in a long time, the magzine is attending the NY shows. BUT. They are being represented by the new EIC, Emmanuelle Alt, who in my mind, is a super stylish, very chic, rock chick.

Unfortunately all anyone can talk about is her friendship split from Carine Roitfeld during the top seat transition. And whether Emmannuelle really has what it takes to be a magazine head. Here they are together in happier days.

Carine is in New York this week as well, but not for the shows. There's a great interview with her here that was done at the Carlyle hotel this week. It puts to bed the Newhouse firing rumors and her possibly working with Tom Ford again.

Anyway, I'm off to the Derek Lam show tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed Emmanuelle will be in the front row!  But that means spending all tonight deciding on my outfit! What does a 40 something wear to a morning show in the middle of winter? Bare legs? If you have your own driver like most of the 'It' girls and fashion darlings, that makes total sense. Spring colors or winter darks? I guess it depends on what color the sky is and how big a statement you want to make. While I mull over my wardrobe choices, here is a round up of who I think has done it cool over the last few days of fashion frivolity.

images; fashion windows, garance dore, i want to be an alt,  bullett magazine, beautiful streets bullett magazine, phil oh, nymag, refinery29,

Petal Pusher

Although we are still in the depths of winter, spring has sprung along Park Avenue. Artist Will Ryman has "planted" 38 of his rose sculptures along the centre of the avenue. Made of fiberglass, they are huge - up to 25 feet in height - and come resplendent with lady birds, ants and fallen petals. The jury is still out for me. But hey. Any color is good color in winter, right?

images: (1) new york times, (rest) mine

"A Shore Thing"

Love it or hate it, living here you can't get away from Jersey Shore. In fact, apparently it has "blown up" in Africa, Australia and the UK to name a few other devoted countries. "Snooki", Mike "The Situation", Vinny and other cast members have blasted their way into our lives and our living rooms and - God forbid - the front row of certain fashion shows, for the past year. Their antics fill the tabloids and the blogosphere, their language has entered the vernacular - badonk, guidettes and juiced-up - and now, in case you just can't get enough, there is a book by Snooki herself, to add to your book shelf.

A Shore Thing is a thinly veiled novel following the lives of friends and cousins Gia Spumanti and Bella Rizzoli - aka Snooki and J-WOWW - as they fill in life's hours on the Jersey Shore. And as expected, the airwaves are buzzing with Snooki-isms as she gets interviewed by Dave Letterman,  The Today Show, Jimmy Kimmel, Access Hollywood....the list is endless. I am not really sure if that says more about Snooki or the state of American talk shows.

But you have to hand it to the pint-sized guidette. She is now a huge household name, has a jewelry line, slippers range and a book, and plans on continuing to build the Snooki brand. For a 4'9" nobody, she has certainly taken that famous Warhol quote to heart and blown out her fame to well over 15 minutes.

images:  ny daily news, oh the scandal

When it Snows it Pours

OK, I know I continually say I love it when it snows in New York, but maybe not when it involves air travel.

I was supposed to leave for Barcelona last Wednesday night. But after Delta and Continental cancelled their flights due to a pending snowstorm, we wondered what American was going to do. Pigheadedly, they continued to say everything was ok. So off we traipsed to JFK for an 8:50pm flight.

After sitting in the plane on the tarmac for 2 hours waiting for the ice and sleet to turn to snow (who knew), then waiting another 30 minutes while the plane was de-iced (another learning for me), we slowly taxied to the runway. By this time it was snowing so heavily I could not see out the window and wondered who on earth the pilot thought he was. A Kamikaze fighter pilot? But then his voice came over the PA in that calm, assured, American pilot I-Am-Concerned-About-Your-Safety voice saying, "Well ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid there is already snow piling on the wings (really?) So we will have to go back to our gate and try again tomorrow."

That left a plane full of very sleepy and unhappy passengers tumbling back out into the departure lounge in all sorts of unattractive plane sleepwear, only to have to wait another 40 minutes before they told us our luggage could not be taken off the plane as the door to the hold had iced over!

Try getting back to Manhattan in the middle of the night, when the roads are so icy and laden with snow that only the bravest cabbie would be seen dead at the airport. 150 passengers and 5 yellow cabs? Recipe for disaster.  Airport hotels full? There is only one solution. Hail an illegal minivan cab, pay an extortionate price per head and place your own life along with 5 others into the hands of two black dudes from the Bronx.

Therein followed a hilarious if not terrifying 3 hour snail's pace trip back to the city. Have you seen the movie The Road? That's what the Long Island Expressway looked like. A scene from a post apocalyptic nightmare. 

Cars were abandoned along the sides of the highway, already invisible to the naked eye except for snowy mounds dotted along the way. Lone figures dressed in black suddenly appeared in the middle of the road, heading for God knows where. Trucks were reversing and turning in the middle of the highway only to drive back down the road the wrong way to find a better route. All street signs were so covered in snow that drivers did not know which turn to make. Our windscreen wipers kept icing over and the heating/air con didn't work, so our windows were open to clear the windscreen and freeze our bodies. The snow was coming down so heavily, it was impossible to differentiate the road from the dividing walls or the trees or sidestreet stores. All this just for a work trip!

Miraculously, we slithered our way into Manhattan after 3am only to find just as much snow and an eerie yellow light over everything.

Thursday dawned grey and uninviting. Central Park had seen 18 inches of snow. That night we turned around and made our way out to JFK again. This time our plane took off and we finally made it to sunny Barcelona.

images: telegraph, james carbone, new york daily news, dan nguyen